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A post shared by Jes Lock | Whole & Unleashed (@jes.lock)

Self-awareness is powerful thing but can easily turn poisonous if we bypass our shadows and discomfort.

Awareness is necessary; being self aware of how we are, our patterns can be really empowering. It’s what helps us grow and evolve YET awareness can become a weapon of self destruction, stifling us, boxing our humanity.

It can easily be turned inwards towards our sense of self, where it becomes judgement, shame, feed off our fears + existing conditioning.

If we’re unable to catch ourselves or even know what to do when we find ourselves in that state, we’ll unconsciously keep feeding into the narratives associated with whatever stories we have about ourselves when in those states.

And before we know it, we’ve further descended into the belief that we’re unworthy, that something is wrong with me because I can’t get my shit together or *insert whatever limiting belief emerges*

We can be very self-aware but that doesn’t mean we’re actually IN the process, feeling our feelings, actually moving through cycles.

When I started therapy, one of the things my therapist said to me is that “you’re very self aware and can name your emotions but you’re not actually feeling them”

I remember starring at her and being like excuse me, if I’m not feeling them…then why can I name them? 😳😲

But it was a very eye-opening moment.

I found out I had been so used to pushing my emotions down because they were too much for the people around me that I became very good at intellectualizing them.

But was disconnected physically because that knot in my chest that made my voice shake wasn’t going to win me any arguments or make me feel lovable.

So in order to cope, I suppressed, leaned into logic to understand and soothe myself.

The point of sharing all of this is that I see how awareness in Human Design can easily become weaponizing.

There is so much that goes into this experiment, this thing called life. We can’t reduce everything to simply mechanics, we need to hold our past, our stories, our believes and even the questions that challenges this system (or any other system you use).

👩🏻‍💻 If you’re craving for a different perspective in viewing and working with your not-self, come join HD Fundamentals.