I often get asked: What’s the one thing that helped the most during your career transition? My answer is probably not what you’ll expect. And it might even sound a bit of a cliché…
Because it wasn’t just ONE thing. (some human design types reflection below)
That one magical key that unlocked everything to fall into place… And perhaps we look for that one thing to feel more secure and stable. Perhaps hearing about how somebody did it, gives us hope that it’s doable for us. And I too, looked for that something that would lead to my “success”. I enrolled in countless online programs, believed in the promises of shortcutting my way into success so I could justify my rationale for leaving that life behind.
I’m not saying those strategies don’t work but they were on the technical side. While having examples of what others have done can be helpful. It wasn’t dealing with what was below the surface.
What I needed was something entirely different.
A bit of context, when I left my corporate 9-5 it wasn’t on a whim. It was from years of over extending myself, getting continuously sick and burning out no matter how I changed my habits. Because in my particular case, it wasn’t about my habits…it was the environment I was in. It was no longer for me. But I clung on to it.
Because it was all I knew; because it represented safety—little did I know of how dangerous it would become. It wasn’t until insomnia and over exhaustion caused me to fall off a flight of the stairs as I was going to work that I realized how bad things were. I was so used to coping that I didn’t realize I was in survival mode. When you’re in survival mode, you don’t have much space to thrive. Whenever our nervous system is on overdrive, our stress response gets activated. Healing, body’s natural functions are paused as we’re flooded with excess adrenaline to ensure you have the energy to sprint/fight if danger presents itself.
Sometimes that’s needed. But we’re not meant to be in that state in long term. It’s not sustainable.
I found out later that as much as my mind felt “fine” my body wasn’t feeling fine. It was still very much on edge, on high alert. I had gotten so used to the adrenaline, the amplified Root pressure + Sacral of working non stop that the opposite felt like a threat to my body. I had to essentially teach my body how to relax (again) to nourish it, to tend to ‘the withdrawal’ of that environment.
Transitions aren’t just stepping from one point to another. It’s a gradual process of becoming and unbecoming. In between a lot gets brought up to the surface to be confronted, released or healed. Like career change, ending relationships, moving houses, moving through grief, any kind of change can be quite disruptive to our nervous system & psyche.
Some other examples like:
They take a toll & reduces our capacity to show up.
Because when your body is in a state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn etc there is no space for us to feel inspired, to dream, to expand. It’s a lot harder since all of our energy is going into keep us afloat.
What I needed then, weren’t strategies on how to build a successful business.
Instead I needed to connect to myself; a space to process what I was holding, to feel, to ground so I could move through. We often underestimate how much we’re dealing with. In order to expand and grow we need to have a strong foundation to be able to build upon. And once in a while, the foundation needs to be ripped from the inside out, while other times simple tools and practices can help strengthen it.
So no matter where you’re at, the one thing that helps me the most: is to soften + tune inwards, to tend to my immediate needs
Of course you can continue to keep learning, researching strategies if that sounds exciting (notice the intention behind it). It’s not one of the other!
Your needs are unique to you and they change evolve along with you.
And you’ve been trying to initiate but find yourself unable or with no space to do so…
When was the last time you felt peace? Do you allow yourself to feel anger?
When was the last time you had space to just be with you own energies to notice what you need + tend to those needs?
And you’ve been feeling exhausted, bitter with no aligned invitations coming in…
When was the last time you felt truly rested? When was the last time you had space to be by yourself?
Have you been able to prioritize and recognize what your needs are and tend to them?
And you ain’t got no satisfaction but a lot of frustration pent up..
Are you aiming this frustration to yourself? How can you release that?
When was the last time you channeled your energy into something that brought you joy or fascinated you for the sake of it?
And you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, over extended and guilty about taking on too much…
What can you release that is no longer serving you? You don’t have to finish everything you start. How can you give yourself some flexibility?
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be guided by your curiosities, by a fun challenge?
And you’re feeling disconnected, not yourself…
When was the last time you felt a sense of surprise? Have you had space to reflect? To connect with others and yourself?
What identities can you release that are no longer serving you? What feels disappointing? How can you listen to that wisdom?
And as usual these are just a starting point! There are many other elements in your design, current lifestyle and circumstances that come into play.
The idea is really, to notice what’s going on with you right now and how can you tend to that?